In the same way that I can blame someone or something for my sadness, I can blame someone or something for my happiness.
What happens if I blame for my sadness? I violently push the blamed away from me, judging it as less than; ultimately saying, “IF you were different then I would love you.”
What happens if I blame for my happiness? I unconsciously disguise violence as love and cling to the blamed, waiting to eventually blame it for my sadness; all in an effort to manipulate it into being my prisoner.
This wheel of blamed sadness and blamed happiness is what fuels the chaos of human life; both individually and collectively. It is so far removed from the truth of one’s harmonious nature.
The issue isn’t so much about blaming for sadness or blaming for happiness, it’s actually the same thing. The issue is blame itself; the ideas that my experience is not my own creation, and I am somehow a prisoner of an external world.
“Blame” is to see one’s self as separate from the experienced, and, is the origin of all violence; blame is violence.
This goes far beyond attempting to alter the use of language, to no longer saying, “I’m happy you came to visit,” or “I’m sad you left.” That’s silly. It speaks to a fundamental transformation in what one recognizes to be true about what the Self is and is not.
In such a transformation, the energy (violence) of blame dramatically decreases or disappears; there is no longer an attempt to manipulate the blamed. “I’m sad you left, but I love you anyway, cheers.” Rather than, “I’m sad you left, and you’re such an asshole for leaving me.”
To the degree you blame something for making you happy, will be the same degree you blame it for making you sad. To the degree you blame something for make making you happy, is the same degree you will fear losing it.
This creates the classic agitation found in human relationships and the subsequent manipulation that looks to avoid losing the relationship partner.
– Boy meets girl, boy thinks girl makes him happy, boy fears losing girl, boy becomes possessive; the relationship is now a violent control-ship. Or vice versa, or, mutually experienced.
The same dynamic is found everywhere in human interactions, where someone ultimately thinks someone else has something they need in order to be happy, whole, complete, or loved. This is simply the human being trying to find themselves in the world, and it’s totally understandable and innocent in nature; it’s just ultimately impossible and painful.
In many ways, it’s a required aspect that comes with being human; a doorway of sorts we must pass through in order to access deeper learning. As such, again, it’s not wrong.
Why all of these illusions and confusions? Well, it speaks to the overall point of life itself, which is also the point of being human. There is somewhat of a refinement process that’s happening, a type of learning that allows for consciousness (life itself) to be conscious, or, to be what it is.
Human language can’t actually articulate the ‘why’, it can only point toward that ‘why’ with stories. This ‘why’ has been pointed to since the beginning and will continue to be pointed to throughout all of time; since it’s the underlying point of everything.
However, what I will say is that the experience YOU ARE HAVING… is vitally important. Pay attention. And, thank you for being exactly as you are.