The more deeply we go to spirituality, the more authentic it becomes. As we explore the root dilemma of being human, it seems to touch on feelings of self-inadequacy. Whatever problem there is, it points back to the idea that the self is not enough. We can look at the nature of love between the dance of human beings. So, in this episode, Tiger Singleton offers wisdom on what is self-love through the following topics:
- The magnanimity of genuine love
- The incarceration caused by fear
- The liberation offered by self-honesty
The magnanimity of genuine love
Genuine love is without any conditions and expectations. It is a love where one says, “I accept you as you are. I see you as you are.” The most sincere love is a great movement of allowing.
However, the conditioning we grew up with made love a possessive or conditioned love. We deem love as, “I love you if…,” or “I want to love you in the future.” It doesn’t speak to a love which is present but a love if we get what we want.
Thus, when we examine love in human beings, it is a desire for us to be what we are and to discover a space where we can be ourselves.
The incarceration caused by fear
The permission to be our most natural is a permission to be honest with our feelings, emotions, thoughts and humanness. It is also the great difficulty where we believe we can’t be honest and truthful to what we are because of our intrinsic fears. We are afraid to be rejected for simply being ourselves. We are unlovable if we are not true to our nature. We have an innocent belief where we must be who others want us to be.
So, the authenticity of spirituality is when we connect to our spirit, a foundation is created where we can recognize safety and sincerity. We can lay down our defenses and be human. If spirituality gives rise to healing, it for us to see this truth and it can be painful because we will come face-to-face with our fear.
The liberation offered by self-honesty
Self-love is self-honesty. Self-honesty or sincerity is acknowledging what is true, real and actual. The sincerity of love is we are permitted to be honest and to be ourselves. This way, we allow and accept others to be what they are, too. We let them feel, think, and experience the way they want.
The reason we are not ourselves is we believe other people judge us. The fear of judgment is painful, but to feel it and see it is self-inflicted is not wrong. To feel the pain is for us to recognize we are not allowing ourselves to be what we are. So, we end up blaming ourselves or others, and when we withhold love, we withhold it to everyone including ourselves.
So, it is for us to remember being human is to experience all the seasons. The freedom to be what we are holds space for others to be what they are, too. In order to connect with the truth of life, we can let go of the life we have. We can be in-touch with something real. It is like a loving friendship where it is an, “I love you, regardless.” All we can do is recognize something is wrong and listen to it. It is a cycle where we are put back in-touch with our being.
Group’s reflection and questions:
- The huge impact from my experience with everything said seems to starts from childhood, about parents or the very beginning of our life
- We can say the dilemma begins in the belief of separation and we are born into it. The separation-belief is like believing in blame and rejection. So, it looks like we experience those things. Interestingly, the healing of childhood separation takes place in recognizing we are whole.
- What happens to a baby who is separated from the parents and deprived of love?
- It is encoded in the illusion of separation where when there is this and that, there is also remembering and forgetting, losing and finding. So, to be human is to suffer. Whatever is going on in the world - the different ways children are raised and the different experiences- are all part of it. Then, it is for us to share compassion rather than self-righteousness of what should or not be.
- When we fill our bodies with love, forgiveness and acceptance, it gives way for us and allows others who are struggling to feel what self-love is through us.
- We don’t have to wake up the world. All we need to do is to look into ourselves and be sincere. We may find endless distractions as if there are infinite things to blame likewise, we will also find infinite ways to extend love.