Quote: We are on a journey of healing “self perception,” which is the same as a journey of seeing more of what’s really true.
In our lives, every experience offers us a profound opportunity: to recognize and embrace our role in creating our reality. This concept, that I call “experiential accountability,” suggests that how we interpret events shapes our emotional and experiential landscape. For a deeper dive into this topic, you might enjoy the full 28-minute video.
Now, let me share a story about someone I was working with, which beautifully illustrates this principle in action.
Amy’s Text Message Turmoil
Meet Amy, she was feeling unsettled over a seemingly minor incident that had spiraled into a significant emotional ordeal. It all began with a text message she sent to her partner about dinner plans. The response she received was a curt “Okay.” Just that—one word, no frills. To Amy, this wasn’t just any reply; it was a thunderclap of indifference that shook her sense of connection.
As Amy and I unpacked this experience, we explored how her interpretation of that “Okay” was tinted by layers of personal insecurity and past hurts. Was her partner really signaling disinterest, or was Amy coloring the message with her fears?
We laughed together as Amy acted out her interpretations, each more dramatic than the last, transforming her worry into something we could both smile about. It turned out her partner had been swamped at work and simply wanted to confirm the plans quickly.
Unveiling the Power of Perception
This revelation was a lightbulb moment for Amy. She realized she wasn’t just reacting to the message itself but to an entire narrative she had constructed around it. Her reaction was her own creation, influenced by her anxieties rather than the facts at hand.
Amy wasn’t “seeing or experiencing the text message,” she was seeing her inner world, her life-long narrative about how she wasn’t enough. Why was this coming to the surface? Because, very simply, it wanted to be seen, so she could meet it and give it the love and clarity it was actually looking for.
Amy learned that she holds the power to shape her interactions. Instead of defaulting to doubt, self-judgment, or evidence of unworthiness, she could choose curiosity or even humor.
You see, there’s this fundamental acknowledgement that…
- “Everything we see, is to see what exists on the inside of what we are.”
We are on a journey of healing “self-perception,” which is the same as a journey of seeing more of what’s really true.
A Shift Towards Joyful Interactions
Our session didn’t just change Amy’s perspective; it transformed her approach to all her relationships. By acknowledging her role in crafting her experiences, Amy started to engage with life’s ambiguities with playfulness rather than apprehension.
This is a shift from being closed to what might happen, to being open to what might happen because the only thing you’re going to see, is more of what’s already within you. Why? Again, because what is within you, desires to be seen with less fear and more love.
